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I have Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Bulimia Nervosa.
Well there are a lot of symptoms for those four...
For Major Depressive Disorder I have a depressed mood all of the time, hypersomnia (I sleep 12-16 hours a day), I barely eat because I''m never hungry, I have psychomotor retardation (everything I do takes so much effort. ex. getting out of bed, putting on clothes, taking a shower), I usually don''t get very much done (sometimes I can put off having a shower for 5-6 days because of the amount of effort it takes for me to have a shower). I isolate myself, I spend most of everyday in my room by myself. I never go out, unless it is to therapy. I self harm by cutting to shut out the emotional pain. I have constant feelings of guilt, sadness, and self-hate. I never think I am good enough, or that I deserve anything. I have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I have no motivation to do anything, like going for walks or even getting out of bed half the time. Because of the depression, I haven''t been able to go to school for the past 2 years. Those are just some of the symptoms.
For Social Anxiety Disorder, I have an extreme fear of being judged by other people, I have panic attacks in large groups of people, I am constantly worrying about what I look like because I''m scared of what people think of me (I spend 2-3 hours getting ready before I go out). I avoid all social contact that I can. I am scared to talk on the phone, or to a stranger, or walk through crowds of teenagers. I am scared to say thank you to the mud driver, or look the store clerks in the eyes. When I am anxious I have the tendency to start to cry, just from reflex, which causes me to be even more anxious. I cannot talk in front of crowds, I cannot ask a waiter for water at a restaurant, my thoughts are always jumbled because there are so many things going through my head. So basically, I don''t leave the house unless I have to because I''m paranoid and scared of other people.
For OCD, I have a different kind of OCD than you are probably used to hearing about. For me, my OCD is mostly thoughts that I do not want. I do have a bit of a problem with uneven numbers and things not being aligned, etc. But for the most part, my OCD is based on thinking things that I do not want to think. These are things that cause me a lot of stress. They are often thoughts about me killing or raping other people, or other people killing and raping me. These thoughts just come over and over and over, and they cause me to have severe panic attacks. Sometimes the thoughts come again and again until it feels like I might actually act on the thoughts even though I don''t want to. I''m constantly scared that I am going to hurt someone else, that I am a horrible person, even though I know that it''s the OCD causing these thoughts.
For Bulimia Nervosa, I haven''t really been having the physical symptoms lately because I haven''t been hungry (because I''ve fallen back into depression). I do still have the horrible guilt and self-hate from eating. Usually, when I am not severely depressed, I binge, eating more than 3000-5000 calories in about an hour. After this I feel so horrible about myself that I do one or all of these things. I throw up as much of the food as I possibly can, and then I exercise for 3-4 hours burning approximately 2000 calories for the next few days, and in those next fews days I do not eat a single thing. I usually only gain 2-3 pounds after a binge, which is not ''real'' weight, just from the food inside of me, and water weight and stuff, but then I lose about 5 pounds from the exercise and fasting. On days that I am not binging, I am eating a low 400 calories maximum, which is considered an anorexic diet, but because I binge/purge, I am Bulimic. My throat hurts for a while after purging, I am constantly sore from exercising, and I am ALWAYS hungry (when I am not depressed). My thoughts rarely move away from food, it''s always there in the back of my mind calling to me. It''s horrible, feeling like you are fat and worthless all of the time.
So......
How do I function? I don''t. I lie in bed all day watching movies to distract myself from the thoughts of wanting to kill myself. I barely leave the house. I take medication.
It''s hard every single day of my life. I am always wondering why I bother to even try and live through it. I''m only 16, I''ve been dealing the bulimia for about 6 months, the depression and anxiety for 3 years, and the OCD for a lot lot longer.
So yeah, that''s what my life is like.
- My mind is ill because of all the horrible things I see on this planet, so I do have a mental illness. I named it mind-numbingness!
- I have a couple, and it''s very hard to live with.
It''s a constant struggle and I feel like it''s something I need to deal with every single day.
Medication varies, and sometimes people are put on/off medications and make changes because it can take a very long time to find some that help you.
Sometimes their are side effects that can make mental illness''s worse, like wanting to make you commit suicide. - I feel like your illness might be not knowing when you''re asking a really personal question and should probably go fuck yourself.
As for meds, I''d recommend one bottle up your nose so you can use it to store that little turd you use for a brain, and that''s being generous.
I really hope you delete this question and wake up with some better sense.
Do you walk through hospital rooms asking who''s got what illness? Or gosh what''s it like having tubes in you? And cancer must be tough huh? - This is a close friend who suffers from Depression and mild Bipolar , what he does is to be with good people,friends family,read takes controlled medication,has a good partner who is very understanding and loving and friendly.
He also is close to the Lord,it very comforting to know there is some one who suffered for us,who felt every pain we feel and the pain of every one who has ever lived and will live.Even if there is no one out there you think will listen,there is some one.
Most days its hard for him,as he also has physical issues but he does his best and thats all any one can ask for. - I have been suffering with depression for a while now. It had impacted my social life greatly. I mostly stay to myself, something it is hard to focus, I find myself just thinking deep, can''t sleep, feel weak, chest pain, feeling like crying and other. I tried to exercise. I have tried many different depression medicines.I am on Wellbutin now, It is hard every single second.
- I have a mental illness. It plagues my mind every waking second and even disturbs me in my sleep. I have anxiety/ depression and mild anorexia. I dont take medication and my parents dont know about my eating disorder. It makes me feel like I''m crazy. I want to die sometimes, but I always hold on. I need serious help but i dont know where to find it. I dont feel comfortable telling anyone in my family. But I have it good. "I cried I had no shoes until i met a man with no feet." There''s always someone out there who has it worse than I do so I try not to feel sorry for myself
- I am a teenage girl who has been suffering from anxiety, depressions, OCD, panic attacks and emetophobia for years and years now. My symptoms are panic attacks, deep breathing (even when I''m not panicking), social anxiety (I get scared speaking to people for example, being in queues, I''d revise what I was going to say to the shop keeper over and over and get really worried about talking to them), very low moods, often cry a lot because I struggle talking about my problems and worries.
One of the hardest things for me is wondering how people around me think of me. Communicating with people around you about how you feel is so hard; my mind chatter often tells me "you''re just pestering them", "they obviously just think you''re an attention seeker", etc which is anxiety fueling me to keep my feelings and fears to myself.
I am lucky enough to have an understanding mother, father and partner who help me through everyday (though I still worry to myself that they don''t understand, or I''m annoying them, etc).
Yes, it is hard, but I''d say most days for me personally, because I do have great days where non of my symptoms will occur! But sadly, for a lot of people, its a struggle everyday - just depends on what symptoms and how people deal with them.
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