Is this what losing control of an eating disorder is?

2 months ago I crash dieted and lived off of 300 calories or less for 2 weeks. I told myself once I got down to 130 pounds I'd stop (I'm 5'6). Well I got down to 130 pounds but I continued restricting calories. I had to increase my caloric intake to about 500-1000 calories a day because I've been on a long LONG road trip with my parents, and there was no way to get around meals. I haven't been able to use a scale, but I don't think I've lost any more weight. I guess my metabolism is in pretty bad shape right now.I'm so hungry most of the day, but there's no way I'd let myself eat anything fattening. If I overeat I'll purge because I'm so scared I'll just gain everything back. Today I told myself I'd eat a good dinner (500 calories) and I won't purge after wards. I ate the dinner. I purged. A part of me wants to accept myself, but the other part of me wants to be thin and beautiful. I'm scared that if I up my caloric intake past 1000 I'll gain weight even though I sometimes want to lose weight the conventional way.Am I losing control of restricting calories and purging tendencies? If so, how can I regain control??Thank you for reading.

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Recommended Answer:

control is an illusion, there is nothing to regain. there is nothing to lose. do not waste your life on this. Every moment you share with this world is precious, each day you exist loving yourself and caring for others makes everyone's lives better.

Other Answers:

  • Since you're not keen on calorie intake, do NOT count the calories for fruits and vegetables that don't grow underground. The energy your body now needs to digest them cancels out the calories in the food. This way you can snack on things like cabbage and green peppers all day without having to worry about weight.If you're very worried about your metabolism, going on a low-Carb diet will alter your metabolism to burn off excess fat without feeling hungry or worn.Good luck! c:

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