I knew this would happen. I feel a binge coming, lurking in the back of my head. It''s just 12:30 PM, and I have already ate 1570 calories. But not in healthy food. The fridge full of Ice Cream bars were too tempting. And the king size Hershey bar just wouldn''t stop calling my name. I''m going on a walk soon, about 4 miles, and I should burn about 270 calories. That will leave me 200 calories under my goal. But I''m so afraid of touching any food now because I feel like it will trigger a binge. I''ve already binged one day this week, so I increased my daily intake from 1200 to 1500. But it seems like that''s not helping. I''m 16, male, and 6 feet tall. I weigh roughly 140 lbs. I can''t stop losing weight. You could tell me Im skinny all day, but I wouldn''t believe you. I know I have some kind of eating disorder but I don''t know what. Every time I binge I want to purge, but I CAN''T. I stick a toothbrush down my throat but nothing comes out. I drink water and it still doesn''t work. So I just cry and starve myself the next day. I''m trying to get a doctors appointment but my mom is pregnant and sick and she won''t call a doctor. I''m just glad that I get to go on a walk today and burn at least 200 calories. Is there anything I can do for the rest of the day that will keep me from bingeing? I''m trying to just stay out of the kitchen and drink lots of water before my walk. By the time Im threw walking it should be around 2 or 2:30 PM. That still gives me a long time to screw up and binge. I really don''t want to binge, but it''s like I''m in a constant fight with my own brain. It''s like it''s saying "EAT THE REST OF THAT JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER" but I have to stop myself. I know it sounds crazy, but this is my life. My grades are dropping in school, and I can''t focus. I used to weigh 200 lbs btw... I never want to go there again. On days that I stay under 1500 cals, I feel AMAZING, like I''ve won a million bucks. Someone just please give me some advice! Please! Thanks!
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I absolutely understand what you mean. I''m a girl, 19 years old and while I had overcome my binging problem for half the summer, in September I suddenly started binging again and I can''t stop myself since. The only thing is, I have actually perfected the art of vimiting as well.
Food keeps shouting at us, and I have no idea why... the only thing that I have realised is it''s because I feel unloved, I always binge when I''m alone, never when I''m around other people. It''s more probable though that the only person that doesn''t love us is ourselves, and that''s the only reason why we punish ourselves subconsiously by binging.
They say that all it takes is to stop thinking about food, yesterday I fell asleep at 4 in the morning because I was thinking about food, I hadn''t binged for a week and I knew a binge was coming today, and it did.
Be patient, be around people, try not to be alone and eat healthily. I know it seems impossible to be mediocre, we either have to starve or binge, but every once in a while, when we manage to eat normally, doesn''t that feel like the most amazing thing in the world? I think that''s the feeling we should be remembering every time we leave our room in order to binge. It''s not worth it, it might feel amazing for those 2 seconds that a chocolate lasts but the next days are hell because of those 2 seconds. Food shouldn''t ruin our lives.
Try this, (at least that''s what I''m going to do from tomorrow on) never eat alone. Always eat when others are around you. Maybe ask someone from the family to prepare you the same breakfast/lunch and dinner they''re having. This way you will be eating like everyone else, which means you will at least be eating like a normal person. They don''t have to think of calories everytime they eat and still they don''t gain weight, so I guess if we do follow their plates exactly, we will manage that as well. And in time, you will learn to do it by yourself, and get over it, like I hope everyday that I will manage to do someday.
We will be normal again one day, not obsessing over calories and not eating a cupboard full of food to satisfy ourselves... I know it sucks, and no words can make it feel better, but hopefully it will. Believe in yourself, or at least try...
- Hi I''m 16, female and I know exactly how you feel except I eat less calories a day. Anyways what I do is I fill my camelbak with water and add some flavor to it but it must be zero calories. So get that and get out of the house. Don''t take any money with you think about how fat you will look when you''re done with your food. The water makes you feel full and not hungry so it helps. Go out with friends or do something you like outside of your house. Good luck.
- Turn to Christ, pray, and read the Bible
