How can I end my life?

I always was in denial of having depression, but this time I really felt like ending it.I lost my friends in school and I am really quiet now...my friend died in a car crash last year too. I gained prov. 20 lbs this month from depressed eating.today my mom got mad at me and told me to just leave her house and I really did. I walked down the road with my life savings ( 1000+) and I am a good kid at school, I never ever would do drugs or drink. I couldn't stand it, and I wanted to end it soon so I decided to get drunk for the first time. I literally bought some drinks ( I went to am pm and gave a guy some money for his beer...) I drank in a corner and cried my eyes out and felt useless and like I was a different person. Some guys in a car stopped by and asked me if I was a prostitue, I seriously wanted to because I felt useless anyway, but my mom found me and brought me back home and grounded me, but she sounded scared and relieved like she was crying, I don't care anymore.I should just be a useless prostitue and drink. I didn't enjoy the beer and I felt dirty and disgusting I lost almost 500 dollars just in 2 hours. I got home now and I'm staring at my fat belly ( I ate so much and cried just now ) and my little sister was acting weird so I just said "what's wrong with you?" I meant to sound "what's wrong" and my mom told me stop being a b*** to my sisters and I can't cope with her bad mouthing me and my older sister sided with her and called my useless and stupid, so I feel like running away this time and hopping inside a car of anyone ... :(((( I am religious so I feel like god even turned from me...

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Recommended Answer:

Your life isnt a matter of what your going through or buying into the influence around you, its a matter of how long you can endure with the obstacles God has placed for you. I know at times like this you may feel that even your own family might look like they don't care or you may feel that God is no longer by your side, but you have to look at it from God's perspective. Will you learn if a problem is solved for you? Obstacles are given not so people can give up, but given to see who has the heart to keep on going. My best advice to you is to ignore the social influences around you, and live your life limiting the bad temptations and start allowing the good ones to move in.

Other Answers:

• I learn to pray and ask god for help he will make a way out of no way i use to be in your shoes just believe and have faith
• Do you know what the meaning to life is?One thing...just one thing. You stick with that...the rest don't mean nothing.andYou're gonna have to figure that out for yourself.You have to do the best with what God gave you.
• you dont, you ask god to help you
• It sounds like your dealing with a lot at once. Depression is never easy to deal with. I have had it for 40+ years and feel like you do at least once every couple of months even with medication. What I've learned is that if we draw close to God he will draw close to you and give you the strength you need to get through even the worst times. He also gives us a hope for a future when there will be no more tears or pain or death. Revelation 21:3,4. You sound like intelligent girl don't let your emotions get the better of you. Reach out for help. http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/