I'll try to make it as short as possible;at the middle age of 12 i was slowly developing depression disorder and i just went through the phases of crying everyday wanting to die, developped 2 eating disorder; anorexia, then bulimia (but now im okay but im still obsessed on weight loss), i binge eat which is bad and causes lots of ED-related problems i started cutting myself at 13 sometimes but stopped then started again for a few days, i havent actually cut for monthsi dont get urgesive never attempted suicide but of course have thought about itits been months since i have reason to believe i have bordeline personality disorder, i was reading about it and the signs & symptoms, and ALOT of it relates to me:* only thing that tells me other wise is that i dont feel strong feelings of fear of abandonment, but the more i think about it the more it makes me worried :\- i can be in an "average" mood, then sometimes for nothing and sometimes for even a little thing i'll get VERY depressed and keep inside my shell, keep quiet, cry (depending where i am) - i feel strong emotions- i get paranoid becaus im scared of losing someone or if tmr my friend of someone i love will die- i feel stress easily (even though im only 15)- i like to be by myself alot, ESPECIALLY at home- i get irritated easily (especially by my mom)- im a very negative and pessimistic person- i'm very idealistic and obsessed with making lists and planning things (organized-perfectionist freak)- i get emotional during school especially with math and science cause im scared of not getting a good grade and i feel dumb and stupid and hate failure although i do it alot-i feel out of control, - i've tried drinking to cope when i was 14 (lasted a week cause i dotn have alot of alchohol at home)- smoking (both types, but i dont have a problem with weed)- i hate myself then sometimes ill think i look good enough - i want to be consistent with things cause i want to control everythign but i keep failing and get bored so i stop then i regret it (inconsistent with things)- i feel empty
How to Lose Weight Quickly
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It's almost like you just told my story and how I feel, plus I'm also 15 haha. Except my depression and selfharm was more as a result of pretty bad abuse as a kid. I have borderline personality disorder, and you described alot of the symptoms, except people with BDP, their perspectives and outlooks change alot; they see with more of a 'black and white' attitude (there's no middle grounds. For example you're either a friend or an enemy) and you can get intense bouts of anger immediately and suddenly after extreme amounts joy, and it can switch so unexpectedly. It'll make you think you NEED to die, even if you don't WANT to. Alot of teens also confuse their hormone changes ~ with BDP or bipolar. So I suggest getting professional confirmation. If not it'll just get so bad. Email me if you want to ask anything else ... Hello_5623@yahoo.co.uk
