So, I have been struggling with anorexia most of my life. I thought I had it beat for a few years, but now my depression has gotten real bad again, and I went from 150 pounds all the way down to 105.
I am trying my best to fix my self esteem and self worth so that I can make peace with gaining weight, I made it back up to 110, but I''ve stalled and am struggling to keep that 5 pounds on.
It''s hard for me to swallow my food, I chew for a long time. Sometimes even the smell gets to me.
Mind you I am not a textbook case, I don''t count calories, I don''t try at all to restrict food, I have what they call stress induced anorexia. During times of high stress in my life, as a defense mechanism my body will produce too much stomach acid, making me feel full and not leaving any room for anything.
I have a strict NO DIETING rule because i know how sensitive I am and try my best not to think about my weight much, I don''t allow myself to obsessively hop on the scale, only once or twice a month to make sure i haven''t lost more and need to go to the doctor. I don''t allow myself the luxury of standing in front of the mirror to pull at skin thinking its fat either.
But all of this hard work I am doing don''t seem to be helping, so does anyone have any survivors advice for me? THANKS!
A support group would be great, but the problem I have with that is that the main focus of those tend to be calories and bmi and all that technical stuff and because my case is a little bit different I end up out in the cold because the others still cant relate to me. I end up sitting there listening to all these depressing stories that i cant identify with.
OH! Excellent Idea, if anyone has suggestions on foods that you can eat smaller amounts of and get more nutrients, you know, to get the ball rolling because I know it is not a good thing to start out with taking in a lot of food on the first day. You have to start small, but I don''t know what to eat to get enough of what i need in my diet with as little as i can eat right now.
Lose Weight For Free Fast And The Foods That Help You Lose Weight
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I found this pretty helpful website, it is very unfortunate that the market is so difficult and emotionally draining to weed through all of the messages to lose lose lose just to find that one website that actually helps those of us that need to gain.
I wish I had answers on how to change the outlook on gaining though. My problem is that my depression has gotten so bad that I was afraid my weight would drop to a degree that I started to like it, because I started to feel like I looked how I felt inside. Dead.
There are never any easy answers, this is such a complex and differing problem for women, not everyone has the emotional to go along with, it has more to do with hyperthyroid disorder or high metabolism in some, and as in your case, an automatic body response from something that could quite possibly be from ingesting foods growing up that you were unaware of a food allergy to.
I am allergic to eggs, and citric acid. Yet all my life I have eaten pizza, pastas, eggs, french toast, baked goods, tomatoes and orange juice. Over time my body was trained to try not to absorb the acids from the foods, largely unsuccessful, but keeping just enough acid production to keep me full, same as you.
My doctors put me on acid reducers, my heartburn got better, and my appetite started to return, but not enough. Here are my recommendations:
Fish Oil dietary supplement,
Omega 3 supplement - greater than 1000mg
Vitamin D 2000IU
B6 complex.
*Daily
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For those like me who also have the self image problems linked to a mental condition, I recommend that you go on drugs.com and research Remeron (Mirtazapine). Educate yourself about it, read patient reviews, and take an honest look at if you should ask a psychiatrist if it might help you.
This is also very important for people with emotional attached to this:
L-TRYPTOPHAN WITH B6 COMPLEX:
This is a supplement that helps people who suffer with depression, PMDD, PTSD, and anxiety type issues. It has essentials that help improve mood, concentration, and improves overall sense of self. I will attach an article from way back in 2003 that explain L-Tryptophan in detail, I still recommend getting the supplement that contains B6 but it is not a requirement. Just keep in mind that this article is a little old, you CAN buy L-Tryptophan LEGALLY in the US at most health food stores now.
NUTRITION:
Protein shakes twice a day, such as boost or ensure.
FRESH fruit.
Only whole grain breads.
Whole grain pastas.
COOKED vegetables.
Fruit Smoothies:
*Bananas
*Strawberries
*Yogurt
*Wheat germ Fiber
*Tablespoon of flax-seed / fish oil
*1/3rd cup of egg WHITES.
AND basically whatever other favorite fresh fruits you like, whether it be grapes or berries, etc.
Two or three of these a day depending on how much you are able to eat (where in your progress you are)
If you basically eat as much of those foods a day as you can, you will gain the weight. You want to choose foods high in COMPLEX sugars (natural sugars not processed simple sugars)
Do not do cardio workouts, but it is important to do stretches, and a common one is just simple squats, it is important to build a little muscle without burning too many calories, as muscle weighs more than fat, and helps to make it so you have just enough toning to not look lumpy.
Yoga is also a very relaxing and easy way to de-stress and tone without burning too many calories. Only workout for 10 minutes at a time, for 30 minutes every couple days. Take breaks in between, a day or two off, and then workout, and then a day or two off, because it is very important to give that B6 complex time to help repair the muscles and rebuild them.
Hope this helps!
- I too have battled anorexia my whole life. I have found you can truly never fully overcome it. There will be good periods and bad ones. The hardest part for me was accepting my body the way it is. I found joining a support group helpful and keeping my friends and family in the loop. Good luck!
