Husband on me about my weight often?

Every 3 or 4 months hubby picks on me when I gain 5-10lbs. I'm not fat. I'm healthy. I workout 2-3 hours a day 4-6 days a week. Sometimes I do 2 workouts in one day & I count my calories/watch what I eat. I'm 39 yrs old & have always worked out. I'm 5'5 weighing anywhere between 155-165 but I have a lot of muscle from years of lifting weights. Usually around that time of month I get really bloated & it's also been more difficult to lose weight. Hubby makes comments like he wishes I was small like my mom, how I look big sometimes or how I need to go to the gym & sit in tbe sauna longer. Hubby is an ex boxer & tries to tell me how he trained to lose weight so he could fight in a certain weight class. I told him I'm not a boxer & I'm not training to fight. I workout for myself & because I enjoy it. Everything is like a competition to him. He even told me he wants to have the finest wife out of all his friends. Image seems to be a huge deal to him but yet I feel like he is also insecure. Anyone else deal with spouses that pick on you about your weight? If so what do you do?I forgot to add he does tell me I'm beautiful almost every single day. He compliments me regularly. He brags to all his friends & family about me often. He is very loving & affectionate but if I gain even a little weight then he's distant with me & makes stupid comments. We have had serious talks about this even met with church couple peers. He stopped for a while but starting his BS again.I also don't look like 165lbs because of my muscle mass.All of my friends have told me I look great. I have had strangers try to guess my weight & they say around 135. I would like to be around 145 but like I said it's harder to lose weight than when I was in my 20s

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Recommended Answer:

Your husband sounds very insecure about himself and he sounds very mean ( i want to say something else but won't out of respect). It sounds like you've had enough conversations and have stood up for yourself during those conversations so he knows how you feel. He obviously does not care. Abuse comes in many forms and emotional abuse is no exception. It is his job to make you feel beautiful and loved, not to tell you that you are not good enough and need to keep working for his approval. If that was the case, then why did he marry you? I"m sorry, but if I were in that situation and we've had our talks and he continued to belittle me (kids or no kids), i'd pack up slowly and one day he'd come home with a note on the counter saying "since i'm not good enough for you, i'm going to leave so you can marry a model. Divorce papers are underneath, please sign in the proper places and return them. Thank you and have a nice life." The reason why i say this is because he talks all this trash but he is still with you so you're right. he has a problem, but why should you be his punching bag for him to fix it. Your decision but I'd leave. A man talking to me like that will make me think he's going to cheat on me and I won't stand for that nor stick around to find out. Bless you and good luck. I'm so sorry.

Other Answers:

• As long as you work out for yourself and feel happy about yourself do not let his comments ever get you down. If he has a problem with it, screw him! He should be lucky he has a wife that works out, most don't. Keep doing you honey
• 5'5 and 165 is a big girl. i'm not saying fat, as I never saw you, so i can't say. of course he's insecure if he's picking on you, but maybe he's not totaly wrong, but it's wrong to pick on you. just one thing is for sure - he's not happy when you gain weight. you can't blame him for that.
• At 5'5" and 165 you are not petite. The question is; how much importance do you put on your husband's opinion of your looks? If you tell him to like it or lump it, he will probably do the latter. Diet could play a part; less protein and more produce. I have recently started eating two salads a day plus fruit and have lost about 10 lbs. in a couple weeks, and I feel better. I still eat meat, but I find I crave it less.
• read what "Miss" has said..well spoken
• Could it be that his just be picking on you ?
• What happens if you have kids, don't have time for hours at the gym and end up with a flabby stomach from carrying babies.Maybe you won't be the trophy wife that he longs to keep. Is he going to stay with you even if you do get ugly in your old age?We all change over time - I just hope he realises that. And I hope he doesn't start the comments daily if you can't sustain that perfect figure.I think he needs a reality check - he needs to stop focusing on looks only and realise there is a lot more to a person than outside appearance.I don't know how you cope with being told you are beautiful every day - sorry, that would just make me sick - I wouldn't want to be only valued as a woman because I looked good every day. I don't know how you are going to keep up with his high expectations.
• He doesn't sound like he will ever be happy with how you look. He is very shallow to be that way with you. Remind him one day he may very well not be the weight he wants, age creeps up on us all.