I got up today, one morning. The sky was gray and depressing, like my soul. Nobody likes me. Like, yesterday at school, a strange boy who I don’t know, just kissed me. Why doesn’t anybody NOTICE ME!? I love Edwardo.
So anyways, I got up this morning, and crawled out of bed. I put on my slippers. I like my slippers, but they’re old. Charlie (AKA; DAD) should buy me new slippers.
But anyways, I got out of bed and put on my slippers. I trudged into my bathroom to get ready. I looked at the sink. Then I looked in the mirror. I look as boring as this story.
I have long, dark brown hair that went down over my shoulders. I have big eyes, that look almost soulless, yet sexy. My skin is as pale as the moonlight. I’m like, so boring.
But anyways, I woke up this morning and got ready for school. I didn’t eat breakfast, because that’s what fat girls do. Although I’m fat (I weigh 60 pounds, EW), I need to lose some weight.
I love Edwardo. He’s so sexy.
So anyways, I got up this morning, skipped breakfast and got in my old, battered up truck. It’s stinky and smells like peppermints that were stuck on the bottom of a smoking clown’s ***. But I really like that smell. It smells like Jacob’s Uncle, and I like him because I like people in wheelchairs. I don’t discriminate.
But anyways I’m driving in my truck, and I’m glad that everybody else has shitty cars, because I don’t want to stand out. I want to blend in. But yeah, I stopped my truck after parking it. Then I unbuckled. Then I opened the door. Then I got out of my truck. Then I stood in the middle of the road next to my truck. A car almost hit me. But that’s not important to the story.
So anyways, I walked into the school and went to the front office. The lady at the desk was like, “Are you Isabella Swan?”
And I was all like, “It’s Bella.”
And she was all, “Oh. Okay then.”
And I stood there.
And then she was all like, “Here’s a map I drew for you.”
I took it and thanked her, and then I went to science class. It was easy to find because of the map. The lady at the desk was so sweet. But here I can’t be sweet. Because then I’ll stand out. I want to blend in. Has Edwardo noticed me yet?
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How many time do you have to say "I got up this morning'' and ''then"? Omg, it so funny I couldn''t stop laughing. Good job. Hopefully you''ll write more.
- i love it
- i love it too
- Like, totally awesome. <3 <3
- Super! Totally rocks
- Wow. As a writer, I am literally insulted that was so bad. You insult me, my language, and my profession.
I''m pretty sure this is a joke or I wouldn''t be so cruel. But if this isn''t and you seriously think this is good I think you might want to ask somebody to check to make sure you''re okay in the noggin. Just, like, saying. Cuz, like, it was like, THAT bad. I like pizza. Yeah. That bad. - Not offense to whatever I''m about to say.
Bella sounds like some annoying skank and all she can think about is herself and her boyfriend Edwardo. She''s self-centered and always on a rant. If I read it without half the mind of knowing that it was Bella that was narrating, I would have placed it as Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory. It''s very annoying, like I said, and it''s kinda offensive to those who appreciates Stephenie Meyer''s prose.
BUT, if you did that on purpose and wanted Bella to sound like an attention-seeking, whiny brat asking for new slippers and repeating most of what she said twice, then go for it. :) Nice material for comedy.
xoxo
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